I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
