"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
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