I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
