oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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