Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
