not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize