i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
