i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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