I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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