Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
