I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
