It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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