ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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