you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sarcasm needs its own font
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
