I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
