Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
