my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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