the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
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Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
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He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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