brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
