I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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