You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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