I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize