do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
