Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
