the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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