look no pants
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
