You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
