she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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