people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
