'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
