I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
