Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
