Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
