you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
