i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize