Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize