I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
