Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it glows. i had to have it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
