So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He better not be in your backpack
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize