fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The best revenge is premature balding
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Damn victory sex feels great
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
