so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
