Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
