We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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