Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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