going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
