handjob tips. give me some.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
