somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
