So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
