i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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