you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
