i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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