Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
