he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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