You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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