i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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