Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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