weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize