Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
