Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
